If Your Child Doesn't Want to Talk about It

Dear families,

I want to thank you for the incredible outpouring of love and support you have shown to RF, Kristen, the other children, and the teachers during this difficult time. It has been a profound experience that validates everything I believe about the values that lie at the heart of our community.

As is developmentally appropriate for a number of reasons, some children are simply not raising the topic of RF's father's suicide with their parents, and some of those parents have come to us for help on how to give their children the right support in this scenario. Our advice, again informed by conversation with Dr. Anne Brodzinsky, is that if you have this experience, you can open the door to the conversation by saying something like "I heard that something sad has been talked about at school." Your child may then choose to accept that as an invitation to talk, or she or he may not want to, in which case it's very important to leave that door open without pressing the issue, perhaps by saying "I want you to know that you can talk about it with me at any time." Remember that it's okay for children to decide not to talk about this, and that indicating support for a conversation doesn't mean there has to be a conversation. This will help your child feel secure and safe that s/he can talk about it with you if and when s/he is ready.

There are of course many other scenarios of interaction you may experience. Please feel free to contact your child's teachers or me if you have any questions about this or any other experience you have with your child about this topic.